BENEATH

BENEATH
Snow is still falling on my part of the world. The River sees so many changes and in winter perhaps the most.
The water beneath is frozen and dark and occasionally air trapped in lower layers bubbles to the surface, only to be trapped in the ice again.
Old leaves get caught in the ice and as more snow falls they get pushed deeper or as the surface begins to melt they can be seen close to the surface. It seemed like a metaphor for life.
When we first see someone we see what is on the surface. It is, after all, our first impression and sometimes when I think about what is beneath the surface the word “lurks” comes to my mind. Maybe I am getting that from watching too many scary movies. It just seems that the unseen is often portrayed as being evil. In fact I find Truth often lurks beneath the surface, and not knowing what the Truth is can frighten us. We fear what we cannot see or understand. This works both ways. I mean we are often reluctant to let people see beneath our surfaces for fear what they see will be unappreciated or misinterpreted. Maybe some are simply unsure that what is there is worth seeing.
Sometimes we just need to muster up the courage to look at the underlying layers, or find the courage to soften the opaqueness of the surface of ourselves and allow others a glimpse. The ego is a fragile thing. Sometimes we hide our true selves beneath the surface and only show what we think others want to see, or what we wished were the Truth. That not only can be deceptive, it can also be dishonest and lonely. For a long time I felt as if I wandered unseen in my life, cloaked in a disguise. I could convince myself that it was a choice and maybe it was for a long time, so long that I realized one day that I was lost beneath the surface and I was alone. I hadn’t looked the lady in the mirror in the eyes or taken her photograph in a very long time.
I desired to find self-acceptance and then perhaps to take off the cloak of shallow perception and be simply me and other people could take it or leave it. I am still working on it. Sometimes I like what I see and want the whole world to see it. Then other times I feel shame that I have grown so little spiritually and want to crawl under my bed and curl up. Course on my sail boat there is no place to hide, certainly no bed to hide under. It is as if I want to get it perfect before I present it to the world and Lord that ain’t about to happen any time soon.
I hope you enjoy my photographs and remember, “a life lived in fear is a life half lived.” That comes from one of my favorite movies, Ballroom Dancing. I know that I will not give up. I know there is a purpose unto heaven and if I falter in fear, or forget that just because I find myself in unfamiliar territory it doesn’t mean I am lost. I must gather my courage. I must remember that Love conquers all. If I am very still I can feel this incredible cosmic energy all around me, and it urges me on. I will not lower myself to pity, but a little self-compassion might help. So let us cut some slack and be kind to one another, including ourselves.

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