“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.”
….Sweet Gardenia In The Rain….Sometimes this old world just moves too fast and makes me dizzy and I fear I might just fall off. That is when I know I have to be really still and look at something so great and marvelous that it defies thought and inhale the scents and the beauty deep into my soul…
The day has dawned with a quiet gentleness. As the sky started to lighten and turn pink I sipped coffee on my deck and watched two young mallards at play. I just let my mind clear and took deep breaths and thanked the Universe for helping me find peace and forgiveness. We have all made mistakes and we all have regrets. Just remember that they are just as much a part of the journey as today is. Who are we to pass judgment on them? Have not moments of great pain become glorious new beginnings? Accept yesterday as threads in the tapestry of your life and keep weaving beauty and joy and kindness. I don’t think we can go wrong that way. We can only see the stitches one at a time that eventually will make the whole and we must have faith in the power of love and make each stitch deliberate and thoughtful.
Dusk on the Water…osprey viewed from a small dinghy as she passed overhead…
May 24, 2019
“They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming.”
― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha
In truth it feels right to say that I am always changing, but to say that the morph is just another layer on my life implies a covering like a new coat of paint and that isn’t right.
Sometimes the Changing is more like an added piece to the puzzle that gives dimension to my Being, or another daub of color on the painting that is Me.
The little girl who lost her Momma before the Time of Remembering is still a part of me and I see her sometimes in the reflection of the still river.
Then again we see not only with our eyes, but with our hearts and souls and our perspective is skewed by our experiences and our desires, so perhaps we change our interpretation as we flow with the Perpetual Change.
That means I am a work in progress…
I recently watched Night Train to Lisbon and was totally blown away by Pascal Mercier’s writing.
“Given that we can live only a small part of what there is in us — what happens with the rest?”
― Pascal Mercier, Night Train to Lisbon
Some of you know I recently had a Reverse Shoulder Replacement on my right shoulder. It was been and will continue to be a battle of wills in my spirit. Can’t hold my camera or go out in my dinghy and take new pictures and new musings are rather dark so am working on lifting myself with past posts when I felt more hopeful. Mroe lessons my friends…always…as long as the beat goes on.
Here is one from this day a few years ago.
The Time of Tulips has given way to The Time of Irises
May 23…and the beat goes on
Darkness comes later each day and the trees have leafed out so much the slightest breeze sends a whisper through the treetops that seems to sooth me. I often quote great poets and philosophers, but today my quote is simple and yet I smile as I say it and am reminded to spread my arms wide and let the joy fill my heart, for this moment is really all I have.
“Why not just live in the moment, especially if it has a good beat?”
― Goldie Hawn
“The most beautiful experience we can experience is the mysterious.”
From “The World As I See It” (1930) Albert Einstein
I often walk with attention to what is beneath my feet and yesterday was no exception. I spotted a most unusual petal and when I looked up I realized I was beneath a large Tulip Poplar Tree. It had a historical plague that stated it was planted in 1886.
I took a lot of photographs but kept going back to the single petal and marveled at the detail and the mystery and thought of all the purposefulness and design behind it. I think the word “awe” was made just for these occasions.
I imagine the people passing by wondered at the old lady pondering a single petal on the ground. At least I didn’t insist they come over and share the wonder, which I have been known to do.
Looking Beyond the Overt
The storm was without thunder.
It pelted the soft delicate petals relentlessly
and without mercy.
This morning the yellow beauties were all
bedraggled and torn.
Just yesterday they lifted themselves toward the
deep blue sky, making a marvelous contrast with their
rich yellow blossoms, the shade of saffron.
I fell to my knees in sorrow for what once was and now was lost.
But they called to me.
They called to me to look closer and see with eyes made clear
With fresh shed tears.
They seemed to sigh with pleasure
when I focused on two petals nestled in the crook of a tree
and saw their covert beauty and felt their smiles
lift up my saddened heart and bring me joy again.
Heron at dusk…I took this photograph from my dinghy the other evening and then last night, as rain drizzled, I walked up the pier and startled him and so he took flight over the creek, screeching into the night, making me feel in touch with some primeval force.. He seems to have found himself a home here.
“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”
― Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums
Sometimes it seems I struggle to understand when understanding is not necessary. A childhood friend recently told me,
”Girl! Is you still trying to make sense of it all? You’ve been doing that since you were just a wild little tomboy in the country. Some things are not meant to be understood. They are meant to be
experienced and felt. I told you that fifty-five years ago.”
Then he just laughed, told me to lighten up and go back to rowing my little boat and wandering the woods just for the mere pleasure it brings me, and so I did.
Today, let’s lighten our load and have a day of simplicity where we find the universal elements enough and find joy in a bird’s nest or a tiny wildflower blooming along a creek bank, or even a moment of quiet.
Love, Light and Laughter,