“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.”

Eckhart Tolle

….Sweet Gardenia In The Rain….Sometimes this old world just moves too fast and makes me dizzy and I fear I might just fall off. That is when I know I have to be really still and look at something so great and marvelous that it defies thought and inhale the scents and the beauty deep into my soul…

The day has dawned with a quiet gentleness. As the sky started to lighten and turn pink I sipped coffee on my deck and watched two young mallards at play. I just let my mind clear and took deep breaths and thanked the Universe for helping me find peace and forgiveness. We have all made mistakes and we all have regrets. Just remember that they are just as much a part of the journey as today is. Who are we to pass judgment on them? Have not moments of great pain become glorious new beginnings? Accept yesterday as threads in the tapestry of your life and keep weaving beauty and joy and kindness. I don’t think we can go wrong that way. We can only see the stitches one at a time that eventually will make the whole and we must have faith in the power of love and make each stitch deliberate and thoughtful.

Dusk on the Water…osprey viewed from a small dinghy as she passed overhead…

May 24, 2019

“They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming.”

― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

PERPETUAL BECOMING

In truth it feels right to say that I am always changing, but to say that the morph is just another layer on my life implies a covering like a new coat of paint and that isn’t right.

Sometimes the Changing is more like an added piece to the puzzle that gives dimension to my Being, or another daub of color on the painting that is Me.

The little girl who lost her Momma before the Time of Remembering is still a part of me and I see her sometimes in the reflection of the still river.

Then again we see not only with our eyes, but with our hearts and souls and our perspective is skewed by our experiences and our desires, so perhaps we change our interpretation as we flow with the Perpetual Change.

That means I am a work in progress…

I recently watched Night Train to Lisbon and was totally blown away by Pascal Mercier’s writing.

“Given that we can live only a small part of what there is in us — what happens with the rest?”

― Pascal Mercier, Night Train to Lisbon

Some of you know I recently had a Reverse Shoulder Replacement on my right shoulder. It was been and will continue to be a battle of wills in my spirit. Can’t hold my camera or go out in my dinghy and take new pictures and new musings are rather dark so am working on lifting myself with past posts when I felt more hopeful. Mroe lessons my friends…always…as long as the beat goes on.

Here is one from this day a few years ago.

The Time of Tulips has given way to The Time of Irises

May 23…and the beat goes on

Darkness comes later each day and the trees have leafed out so much the slightest breeze sends a whisper through the treetops that seems to sooth me. I often quote great poets and philosophers, but today my quote is simple and yet I smile as I say it and am reminded to spread my arms wide and let the joy fill my heart, for this moment is really all I have.

“Why not just live in the moment, especially if it has a good beat?”

― Goldie Hawn

“The most beautiful experience we can experience is the mysterious.”

From “The World As I See It” (1930) Albert Einstein

Tulip Poplar

I often walk with attention to what is beneath my feet and yesterday was no exception. I spotted a most unusual petal and when I looked up I realized I was beneath a large Tulip Poplar Tree. It had a historical plague that stated it was planted in 1886.

I took a lot of photographs but kept going back to the single petal and marveled at the detail and the mystery and thought of all the purposefulness and design behind it. I think the word “awe” was made just for these occasions.

I imagine the people passing by wondered at the old lady pondering a single petal on the ground. At least I didn’t insist they come over and share the wonder, which I have been known to do.

Looking Beyond the Overt

The storm was without thunder.

It pelted the soft delicate petals relentlessly

and without mercy.

This morning the yellow beauties were all

bedraggled and torn.

Just yesterday they lifted themselves toward the

deep blue sky, making a marvelous contrast with their

rich yellow blossoms, the shade of saffron.

I fell to my knees in sorrow for what once was and now was lost.

But they called to me.

They called to me to look closer and see with eyes made clear

With fresh shed tears.

They seemed to sigh with pleasure

when I focused on two petals nestled in the crook of a tree

and saw their covert beauty and felt their smiles

lift up my saddened heart and bring me joy again.

Heron at dusk…I took this photograph from my dinghy the other evening and then last night, as rain drizzled, I walked up the pier and startled him and so he took flight over the creek, screeching into the night, making me feel in touch with some primeval force.. He seems to have found himself a home here.

“One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.”

― Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums

Sometimes it seems I struggle to understand when understanding is not necessary. A childhood friend recently told me,

”Girl! Is you still trying to make sense of it all? You’ve been doing that since you were just a wild little tomboy in the country. Some things are not meant to be understood. They are meant to be

experienced and felt. I told you that fifty-five years ago.”

Then he just laughed, told me to lighten up and go back to rowing my little boat and wandering the woods just for the mere pleasure it brings me, and so I did.

Today, let’s lighten our load and have a day of simplicity where we find the universal elements enough and find joy in a bird’s nest or a tiny wildflower blooming along a creek bank, or even a moment of quiet.

—

Love, Light and Laughter,

Zahn

SEEDS……SIMPLE? FAITH….HOPE

“In the West we have a tendency to be profit-oriented, where everything is measured according to the results and we get caught up in being more and more active to generate results. In the East — especially in India — I find that people are more content to just be, to just sit around under a banyan tree for half a day chatting to each other. We Westerners would probably call that wasting time. But there is value to it. Being with someone, listening wihtout a clock and without anticipation of results, teaches us about love. The success of love is in the loving — it is not in the result of loving. ”

― Mother Teresa, A Simple Path: Mother Teresa

I drove south into the countryside, trying to get away from civilization. Sometimes I just feel so oppressed by man made structures, not to mention the messes we make. It often helps me clear my head, though sometimes it can get even more complicated. I mean the forests exist because some people recognized the need to preserve the wilderness. The whole of America could be just littered with fast food joints and run down trailers and shacks where people live in squalor. America has begun to remind me of living in a foreign country when I was a child and having mansions behind gated walls and right across the street shacks with dirt floors and no running water. I did not understand it as a child and I don’t understand it now. Why don’t people see that we are all in this together and that what affects one of us affects all of us?

Yesterday I noticed a small creek running behind a government housing project. At one time it must have been beautiful but now it is choked with garbage. Am sure people just blame the tenants of the development but oh it is so much more complicated than that. I mean what causes people to disrespect the very place they live and raise their children? You can smell meth cooking in the hollows of Appalachia and I am sure just about anywhere. The fast food joints offer a “meal” for under a dollar and for some it is their sustenance!

As I continue driving south and into farmland I see worn down tobacco barns, but next to them are mansions or McMansions, like some people want to yell out to the world that they have arrived. Their lawns are manicured by servants and their garbage hidden away. If I could build a house I would want it to be as a part of the natural world, as if it had sprung from the earth, maybe built into a hillside. Hey I can dream you know!

HOPE…HOPE LOST? What if there never was HOPE in the first place? You sure could not lose it then. How do you have HOPE when it never existed in your world?

My heart grows weary and I feel the need to escape. I long to view the world in simpler terms and yet I know the big picture is not simple at all. It is only simple when I shut out the chaos and only then because I accept that there is, at the moment, a limit to my understanding, and that I must have faith. Without faith there can be no HOPE.

Look at the tiny seed. It is a miracle and certainly not simple, but when I hold it in the weathered and lined palm of my hand I am filled with FAITH and my weariness abates and I can breathe deeply and close my eyes and rest my soul a bit.

The journey continues and I move forward to explore and enrich and discover. The mystery of tomorrow sometimes scares me and other times makes me joyous and filled with anticipation and glee. It always takes me by surprise and even though it unfolds unlike anything I could have imagined it feels right. It doesn’t always feel easy or painless and I don’t suppose it should. I wish with all my heart that I could only bring joy to those I meet along the road . Life doesn’t work that way. It is as mysterious as the cosmos and no amount of pondering will give me concrete answers. Life is more like jello than concrete, Black Cherry and Tangerine. I do know that each of us have lessons to learn and these lessons are seldom without tears. In the end isn’t there really just one question?

How much have you loved?

I have come to a new crossroads in my life. I look in every direction but all I see is the horizon. What lies beyond I do not know. How do I choose which direction to take? Do I really have a choice, or is it simply a matter of closing my eyes and opening my heart and letting the love take me like a current in the stream. To do so requires faith, faith in the power of love and faith in the surety that even though I cannot see beyond the horizon love can only bring goodness and so my friends let us let go and glide, and float, and soar into the future on the wings of love.