Author Archives: florazahn

My Trip

July 11, 2019

“Love Comes In Time”

…John Fred (and the Playboys)

This old trip I’ve been on sure hasn’t run in a straight line. I mean I have traveled paths that twisted round and round on each other so much I wasn’t always sure if I was coming or going, though I know that’s not true. I have come to creeks to cross where the path seemed to end there and yet I hitched up my skirt and stepped into the cold water and felt the rounded stones from ages gone by and made my way across carrying only Faith that said “git along little girl”.

My trip has taken me to people and places where the lessons have been so hard I thought to just turn and run. Sometimes the sky grows dark and as the colors mute so does the light in my mind’s eye.

Others times I have climbed steep paths till there opened before me meadows filled with wild flowers and I so threw caution to the wind, stripped myself of baggage and clothes and danced in the evening light till the moon rose and the stars came out. Part of me longed to stay but knowing as Robert Frost once said, “way leads on to way” I had miles to go and strange and wondrous sights to see, and oh so many lessons.

I believe my journey is purposeful, even if I do not understand what that truly means. I have come to understand that if I am to be happy I must keep on truckin’ and that along the way I will, from time and time, come across a situation where there is a lesson to be learned that I am sure I already took and got a passing grade. Maybe I got a C- and not an A, but I passed. I whine because I do not want to take this lesson again. However, I seem to know that in order to move on I will have to study this one again.

Today’s lesson was this….

The Love is in the journey, not JUST the destination. In the end it is the labor of Love that endures, the tangible does not. I lost some pottery today that I had lovingly made and had great hopes for. The pieces were destroyed and though they are gone the experience of creating them can never be taken away from me. The joy really was in the doing. Sounds simple, but I have a feeling this won’t be the last time Life gives me this lesson. It, of course, wasn’t about pottery. It was about understanding what is truly important in this journey.

How much have you loved?

Roots

Photo is one I took in Bath Co Kentucky when I drove there for my sister Kathy’s funeral a year ago. Oh how I love her.

I have been working on a book, historical fiction, about my family. It is so difficult to go between the dates on headstones and understand what happened in those years.

I wonder also at missing people I never met. I am reminded of a quote from the movie Amistad where Cinque says…I will call into the past far back to the beginning of time and beg them to come. I will reach back and draw them into me and they must come. For at this moment I am the whole reason they have existed at all. -Cinque

That is not arrogance but in reality we are who we are because all those people stretching back into time existed when and where they did and by studying them I honor them and they teach me. When I traverse these hills and ford the creeks and stop to watch the sun set in the western sky and gaze at the light playing tricks on the water so it sparkles like finely cut jewels and when I stand so still that I can hear the breeze whisper to me, I am struck by how the land keeps the memories. It holds the laughter and the tears, the joys and the heartaches. I feel connected to this land of my birth.

Sparkle

“It’s not what you have on the outside that glitters in light, it’s what you have on the inside that shines in the dark.”

― Anthony Liccione

June 23….Violets Sparkling

This violet got me to thinking about the word sparkle, and whether a sparkle had to be seen with the eyes or might it also be felt?

If gem crystals sparkle, and sunbeams, and sequins, and babies eyes, and the ocean, and stars, then why might my heart not sparkle?

I am fairly certain my heart sparkled today. It is the only word that truly fits what I felt. And no, it wasn’t a burrito I ate or the fact my heart is 70 years old. In fact I giggled thinking it sparkled like an alka seltzer. Remember “plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is”? It was that kind of sparkle, the letting go kind, and started somewhere deep inside and bubbled up with that giggle. It was like my heart broke free from bonds that held it and released the Love within.

May all your hearts sparkle today and radiate out into the Universe in a never ending ripple.

I am a silly old romantic.

I am a Dreamer.

I am a Believer.

Love, Light and Laughter

Belonging

This is a very large leafed hosta about to open its buds. The green leaves are enormous and very light in color, while the flowers will be blue. I found it in the atrium of a local college. I also noticed they had both purple and white cone flowers. I marveled again at the pattern of the center and was struck by the beauty and symmetry.

Mathematics in Nature is fascinating to me because it shows how purposeful and how organized the Universe is. It tells me that as a part of the natural world I too must have a place and a purpose. It helps me understand myself, others, and how we are a part of the universe with acuity and grace. I find comfort as I try and make my way in a world where man seems to have separated himself from the very world he lives. When I lived in South Louisiana and drove to work each day I would pass a small grove of live oak trees. They were magnificent as their heavy limbs gracefully swept down and touched the ground. One day I saw a friend standing by while a tree service cut the trees down. I stopped and asked what in the world he was doing. He explained he had purchased the land and planned a Dairy Queen there. When I exclaimed that the trees were on the Historical Registry and dated back to the first white man to set foot there he told me he knew that and was willing to pay the $2,000 fine for cutting them down, and that “they were old”. I realized he did not understand and it saddened me. Then when I saw a man mowing down beautiful wild passion vines and he told me they were ”just weeds” I knew he didn’t “get it” either.

The numbers in the Fibonacci Sequence are: 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, etc. (where each number is obtained from the sum of the two preceding). These numbers show up in Nature everywhere. It all has to do with efficiency of growth.

The number of petals in a flower is often one of the following numbers: 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34 or 55. For example, the lily has three petals, buttercups have five of them, the chicory has 21 of them, the daisy has often 34 or 55 petals, etc. Furthermore, when you look at the heads of sunflowers, you will notice two series of curves, one winding in one sense and one in another; the number of spirals not being the same in each sense. The number of spirals in general is either 21 and 34, either 34 and 55, either 55 and 89, or 89 and 144? The same for pinecones : They have either 8 spirals from one side and 13 from the other, or either 5 spirals from one side and 8 from the other? Finally, the number of diagonals of a pineapple is 8 in one direction and 13 in the other.

Mankind is a very greedy species and spends much of his days here on earth gathering material possessions, often at the expense of other human beings.

I was listening to a Dr John tune yesterday where he remarks you can’t take it with you. He said he had never seen an armored car following in a funeral procession.

What I believe you can take with you are the lessons you have learned about love and about understanding. I believe you can enrich your soul and infuse it with beauty that will be everlasting if you follow the teachings of Nature.

Music As the World Turns

June19, 2019…As The World Turns…

“These are the seasons of emotion,

and like the winds, they rise and fall.”

― Led Zeppelin

I sat cross legged on the foredeck and watched the horizon as the world turned from the face of the sun. It seemed unusually slow and graceful, as if time stood still for moments. I think it was because the sun was setting first behind a low bank of clouds and then beyond the horizon and so gave the appearance of a much longer event.

I thought about time and music and how I used to whistle all the time when I was a little girl. I whistled old gospel songs my grandmother used to teach me to play on the piano. I whistled silly rhyming ditties. I whistled old Stephen Foster songs I learned from a songbook my daddy gave me. One of my favorites was Beautiful Dreamer. It still is.

Seems lately I have had a lot of music in my head and have found myself pondering so many lyrics of songs written long ago. I like reading them as seriously as reading poetry, and with the same respect. I am not a master of music, nor of literature, I am merely a student and would never venture into an argument on the merits of song lyrics as literature. I loathe such conversations, for the conversing diminishes both the value of the song with its lyrics and the poem with its silent backdrop. I would simply note that they are both forms of expression and communication and I take it all in as I journey along in hopes it will broaden my understanding of life.

For Dana

Faith is the highest passion in a human being. Many in every generation may not come that far, but none comes further.

Soren Kierkegard

A friend of mine recently shared a very personal experience with me. He told me of a time when he went alone and camped on the banks of a mighty river and for three days immersed himself in the study of Soren Kierkegard and his philosophy of Faith. I was awed by that because for a human being to intentionally sequester himself in order to seek answers to the biggest questions in life in order that he might more clearly understand why he is here takes a great deal of courage. Most of us simply accept what we are taught in the Holy Houses we are raised in. Selecting beliefs out of convenience is a superficial mode of living. To question that is not only to remove ourselves from the comfort it gives but it is to open our minds and hearts to other possibilities..

It has been many years since I reflected on Kierkegard and my friend’s story reminded me that indeed there is a purpose unto heaven. The journey is EVERYTHING. It is the here and now. It is the yesterdays and the tomorrows. It is a continuum. It is the Seeking, not the Finding that is of most importance because it is along the Seeking Journey that we truly live and if we are to truly live we must open ourselves to that which we do not know. It is a frightening thing to do.

Kierkegard also said “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”

I truly wondered why my friend casually dropped the name Kierkegard. All I had asked was for him to “tell me a story”.

It was only this morning that is became clear that the story wasn’t by chance. I have been struggling with trying to understand the suicide of a young woman whom I admired and respected greatly. She was an old soul and I could not imagine what thoughts led her to take her own life. She was a Seeker and a student of life.

Then I read the following from Kierkegard’s Our Present Age.

“. . . . Nowadays not even a suicide kills himself in desperation. Before taking the step he deliberates so long and so carefully that he literally chokes with thought. It is even questionable whether he ought to be called a suicide, since it is really thought which takes his life. He does not die with deliberation but from deliberation.”

My immediate response was to shout in anger that it was the Seeking that brought her to the precipice, but I know in my heart that it was not the Seeking. This passage simply explains how someone with such beauty and such desire and passion for understanding could reach the point of stepping off her earthly journey.

We must continue the Journey and continue the Seeking, but not get bogged down in just thoughts. Take time to pause in our Seeking to literally smell the flowers and feel the sun upon our face and let our minds be quiet and let us open ourselves to the Divine.

I know that Dana is still on a very special journey and I smile.

Last Dana and I spoke she was gathering “May Pops” or Passion Flowers and she was filled with love and joy.

Trust

“Perhaps the biggest mistake I made in the past was that I believed love was about finding the right person. In reality, love is about becoming the right person. Don’t look for the person you want to spend your life.. Become the person you want to spend your life with.”

Neil Strauss

TRUST THE JOURNEY I spotted these two friends growing side by side in the shadows of an old rock fence. The soft late afternoon sun was filtering down and seemed to highlight their JOY.

I wear a ring on a chain that reminds me to “Trust Your Journey”. Naturally I don’t always follow that advice. Luckily The Cosmic Creator seems to understand this about me and so makes sure I see reminders every day that The Great Mystery is unfolding as it should. May each of you look for those today and be amazed and comforted.

Remember that in the midst of our struggle to find out who we are, there are infinite possibilities for beauty, and hope, and wonder, and love. Z

A Little Yellow Flower

Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. –Hans Christian Andersen

I want to share this absolutely delightful flower I am seeing everywhere. One day it wasn’t there and the next day it was all around me. I have always loved surprises and it seems Nature does too. It is difficult to photograph something that is all one color as there is no contrast to draw the eye, but I sat down on a curb and took a close look and was simply awed by the beauty hidden in the mono-colored petals. It was like “hidden in plain sight”. There were all sorts of nuances among the saffron yellow petals that I hadn’t noticed before.

People are like that too and it seems important not to just glance at the obvious and make assumptions about people based on that first glance. Take time to allow people to reveal themselves as they truly are and you will be delightfully surprised.

I was wandering the streets of Historical Annapolis the other night in search of glories other people had planted when I rounded a corner and came face to face with a wizard. He was dressed appropriately in his wizard garb and was scurrying. The encounter brought us both to a sudden stop and I exclaimed “Well hello there wizard.”

He explained that he was late for a party and was in search of a hat. I assured him the hat was of little importance to his appearance and that he looked quite handsome and I was sure there was magic in the air and the party awaited his presence. He smiled, thanked me, and went on his way.

When I told a friend about meeting a wizard on his way to a party he simply shook his head and said only I would have a chance meeting with a wizard on a street in Annapolis. I told him I doubted that were true and that perhaps I had been looking with my eyes wide open .

Open your eyes and your hearts today and see the wonders around you and think a bit about the fact that some of those wonders are reflections of yourself. Feel connected and joined to the light and the energy and let your love shine.

DREAMS…MEMORIES.. INSIGHTS

This may be my strangest post ever…ah well

DREAMS…MEMORIES…INSIGHTS…

MEXICO

Pic…selfie

Took a short trip in time last night to a place of peace and joy and contentment. It exists in a realm that knows no boundaries and has no limitations and is with me always.

I journeyed in a dream, like a vision of past and present.

I dreamed of a memory from my travels through Mexico. The dream allowed me to have the experience again but from NOW and gave me more insight and understanding of those moments in time.

I once saw fields of gladiolas of every color swaying in the breeze in a valley. I was on my way to Oaxaca, Mexico and I could see the snowcapped mountain of Popocatepetl, Smoking Mountain, in the distance. Well I wasn’t really on my way to Oaxaca as that would imply Oaxaca was part of some plan. In truth I had no plan. I was just following my destiny. I came upon this valley quite suddenly and without knowing what lay on the other side of the mountain pass. I paused for what seemed like a long time and drank in the scene with its gaudiness and grace. Yes something can have both gaudiness and grace. I thought I heard a voice carried on the wind but I couldn’t be sure. Then I became aware that it was someone singing in the valley and it echoed all around me with a passion that brought me to tears and I sobbed for the intensity of the beauty. That was part of experiencing LOVE. I discovered that the people who lived in this valley grew flowers to sell in the streets of Mexico City, and that the natural shape of the valley allowed sound to carry and the language had a sing song quality to it. I saw an old man on the side of the road. He squatted and held his hat in his hands and looked into my eyes with LOVE and he made an almost imperceptible nod of understanding. It was another prayer without words and I took that LOVE he so freely offered into my heart where it has stayed and brought me comfort in times of despair. I believe he knew exactly what he was doing and that it was not by accident that we were both there in that moment of time. I was given a gift for which I will always be grateful.

Gardenia in the Rain

“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.”

Eckhart Tolle

….Sweet Gardenia In The Rain….Sometimes this old world just moves too fast and makes me dizzy and I fear I might just fall off. That is when I know I have to be really still and look at something so great and marvelous that it defies thought and inhale the scents and the beauty deep into my soul…